AUDIENCE ESSAY FEEDBACK AND LEARNER RESPONSE

1) Copy and paste your feedback from the email in full - WWW, EBI and LR

WWW- I am so impressed with how up to date your blog is and with the effort you have put into Media since starting the course in September. This is testament to your hard work and I am sure, if you continue to apply what you have learned in class in this way, you will definitely meet or exceed your target grade of a 6. In your essay, you keep focused really well on the question throughout and you consider the advantages and disadvantages well, using appropriate media terms such as ‘appointment to view’ which elevates your work to GCSE standard. Well done. Your conclusion shows a maturity about your subject matter and clearly gives your own opinion. I particularly enjoyed your work on the newspaper industry.

EBI- Some of your written English is a bit sloppy and needs proof reading to ensure that it all makes sense and is of a high enough standard. An example would be in your Camera Angles analysis task where you write ‘what’s about to go down.’ This is slang and is not in enough detail when thinking about the effect of a camera angle on the audience – think of how you phrase sentences and use your media glossary and glow words in order to apply more media terminology to your work. You also use clear examples such as Logic, to support your argument but this does stray a bit away from the question: How has Logic been successful due to the internet? How has he used social networks and other technologically advanced ways to spread his music and attract an audience? However, do try and stay clear of the word ‘etc’ as it doesn’t mean anything. If you have more to say, say it! If not, leave out ‘etc’. You could include a line or two about regulation and the de-regulated nature of the internet and how that impacts your chosen industries (e.g the fact that young people can be exposed to inappropriate content / how news is fact checked)

2) What was the word count for your essay?
The word count for my essay is 1,398

3) What was your strongest paragraph? Why do you think it was better than others?
My strongest paragraph in my audience power essay is the newspaper industry paragraph. I think it is better than the others because I clearly stated how the technology has developed, and how people can now access news using the new digital media. 
4) What was your weakest paragraph? Why do you think it wasn't as good as others?
My weakest paragraph was probably my conclusion since I wrote the least in it and I didn't go into depth about my actual opinion. An improved version would include more suggestions to why I agree with the statement “The internet has given audiences much more power than ever before.”

5) Re-write one of your paragraphs from the essay - your teacher may have suggested an area to focus on. Make sure the written English is perfect, the paragraph sharply focuses on the question (audience power and the internet) and you include examples and statistics where possible.

Extension task

Research one of the three industries (music, film/TV, news) and find statistics and quotes that link to how the audience experience of that industry has changed as a result of the internet. For example, social media has now overtaken TV as the main news source for young people - showing how power is shifting in the news industry away from traditional institutions (full details in this BBC news article).